When Will Adoptees Have Paid Enough?

Guest post. I am honored to share this from Renee Davis:

This glossy piece of excrement was waiting for me in my post office box today.


The adoption agency that VETTED and APPROVED an abusive, perverted, child-diddling bigot, and a lazy, miserable narcissist to adopt …

The adoption agency that cheerfully placed my older “brother” and me with neglectful abusers who would humiliate and bully and beat and degrade us on a daily basis …

The adoption agency whose employees refused to help me find my family when I came of age, and sat across a desk from me reading my – MY – file while they laughed and lied like the malignant degenerates they are …

The adoption agency whose employees shrugged off my desperate inquiries five years ago by claiming they’d lost my file, and then offered to pretend to run a search for my mom’s identity if I’d cut a check for over $700 …

The adoption agency that CHARGED MY MOTHER for her stay in their maternity ward AFTER THEY TOOK HER CHILD, and then turned around and charged the abusers to whom they sold that child, tens of thousands of dollars …

That adoption agency: DePelchin “Children’s Center” in Houston Texas, had the unmitigated gall to send a brochure to me – that child, that product, that commodity they sold into abuse 54 years ago – ASKING TO BE INCLUDED IN MY WILL.

I’m so angry, I’m sick. I’m literally shaking with rage.

When will I have paid enough for what was done to me?

Will that day ever come?


Renee Davis: Mom, wife, pro-choice feminist, reunited adult adoptee, retired ad creator, tiny dog hoarder, desert rat, pottymouth, leadfoot. Born 1961, adopted 1962, reunited with mom 2012, found father’s grave 2014.

Email: renee.davis.txca@gmail.com
Twitter: @MizPotatohead
Facebook: Renee Davis

Elle Cuardaigh is author of The Tangled Red Thread and contributor to The Adoptee Survival Guide 

8 thoughts on “When Will Adoptees Have Paid Enough?

  1. Hi. Renee, the author of this guest post, here. Since this was posted I’ve heard from three other adult DePelchin adoptees. Once wrote this to me:

    “I have been going round and round with Joni Desoto at Depelchin since I requested their search and reunion services. She has taken my money and repetitively lied to me to throw me off my search. I found my mother through DNA and we are happily reunited. Joni lied to both of us telling my mother I was angry and bitter and telling me that she didn’t want contact. Both lies.

    The stories of lies and sabotage I’ve read the past few days are repugnant, but not surprising. In fact, they’re quite familiar.

    A few weeks after I’d reunited with my mom, Joni called me “to see how the search was going.” (My refusal to pay DePelchin to “search” for me had annoyed her greatly, so she got her jollies by calling me from time to time, hoping to hear me admit yet again that I hadn’t made any headway in my own search.) When I told her I’d identified my mother and was in contact with her, she asked her name. I told her. She said, “Well, I have your file in front of me, and I’d love to know why you think you’ve found the right woman?” [KEEP IN MIND, THIS IS THE FILE THEY, JUST WEEKS EARLIER, HAD CLAIMED TO HAVE LOST.]

    What she didn’t know is that I already had a Xerox copy of my original birth certificate from the state, with my mom’s name on it. (Texas allows adult adoptees to buy an unofficial copy if they know the exact names of the parent or parents listed onthe OBC.) So I was able to shut her down really quickly.

    But of course, what if I hadn’t had that copy? What if I hadn’t been sure? What if I’d expressed some insecurity to her?

    They do nothing but lie. And then turn around and beg us for money so that they can destroy more lives with their repugnant BS.

  2. wow! thank you for writing this. more people need to know the truth of adoption. we ruin our own lives and communities and countries when we separate two loving people that need to be together. i wish laws were changed that make this life ruining profitable.

  3. DNA alone is costing me hundreds paying get for myself as well as others. Birth mother has refused to tell me who father is, so I have to do this. She is also withholding information on my brother. I think he was adopted within family through a kinship. However, I called an agency to double check. They told me I needed my birth mother’s permission to find out IF my brother had been placed. I am a grown adult. She then proceeded to tell me they could call her and get permission if I paid them. Keep in mind my brother may have not even been in their system. They wanted me to pay just for them to call her and ask. Passed me off so much.

  4. BRAVO!!! Get that nasty shit off your chest!!

    After my daughter died, by her own hand, I wrote to my agency and told them her blood was on their hands.

    A friend of mine read in the newspaper of a the funeral of her social worker who had pressured her to relinquish. She went to the funeral and wrote some scathing comments in the sign-in book!!!

    Some of these people really need to spend eternity burning on a stake in the fires of purgatory while someone inserts a hot poker.

    “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” ― Madeleine K. Albright

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