“Aren’t you grateful?” Those were the words, uttered by my first grade teacher, that made me realize there was another standard for adoptees. Six year olds recognize unfairness. We know when someone else gets a longer turn on the swings, or a bigger piece of cake. It was simple; all I had to do was compare myself with my cousins. If it was one way for them and another for me, it was unfair. No one would ask them if they were grateful they weren’t adopted.

So the disillusionment began. Being different and knowing it. And not only that, but the expectation that I should be grateful. It doesn’t stop with adoption.

“Just be grateful you weren’t an abortion!”

Because we know adoption is just two steps up from terminating a pregnancy. The step in-between, of course, is abandonment.

That’s been thrown in my face as well. By someone I…