They Deserve Your Baby


In honor of National Adoption Day (also called Gimme A Baby Day) I would like to discuss the unfairness of everything. I’m talking to anyone in their childbearing years who is capable of creating a baby:

Why haven’t you? More specifically, why haven’t you made a baby for someone else?

All those empty cradles and empty arms! Couples desperate for an infant, holding fundraisers to pay the dubious legal fees, begging for “their” baby to come home. How can you let them suffer? How can you in good conscience keep your latest newborn (how many do you have: two? three? are you in competition with the Duggars?) knowing infertile couples are suffering? They want your baby! They need your baby! They deserve your baby!

They are obviously better than you. They have more money. They would love your child more. They would give your child more than you ever could. How can you be so selfish? Your child deserves a better life. You are standing in the way of others’ happiness with your talk about parental rights and biology. Adoption is a miracle! You could be part of that miracle!

It’s not fair. Everyone can have a baby except the ones who would make the best parents. (Hint: If you can procreate, you are in that lesser category.) Understand, breeders? It’s those who can’t who are automatically superior. You are lucky there are people better than you who are willing to parent your child. These better people never commit crimes, or have devastating illnesses or addictions, or divorce. That only happens to dirty, common people. Like you.

Oh, your child won’t know the difference. They just know they’re loved, right? That’s why it doesn’t matter when babies get switched in hospitals. Everyone goes home with a baby. It’s a win-win.

Biology is nothing. Skin color is nothing. It’s purely a coincidence that black babies cost half the price of white. And I’m sure if a nice, white couple adopted your black baby boy, that would protect him against the discrimination that all non-adopted black men face, because adoption is magic. Same goes for Asian girls. Don’t make people go overseas for their accessory offspring. Buy American.

If you really believe in adoption, you will help the cause. Give up your baby today.

Elle Cuardaigh is author of The Tangled Red Thread and contributor to The Adoptee Survival Guide 

Email: ellecuardaigh@gmailcom

Twitter: @ElleCuardaigh


22 thoughts on “They Deserve Your Baby

  1. Why is it necessary for people advocating for change in adoption to mock infertile couples? This is where I stop supporting you people. Let me be clear that although I’m infertile I’m part of a childless couple that won’t be adopting.

    Maybe if people like yourself with four kids weren’t driving our child filled culture outcasting the childless that the demand for babies wouldn’t be what it is today.

    • It should be fairly obvious this is satire to make a point. And that you can blame me, an adoptee who speaks out against corrupt adoption practices, as the problem is really just beyond the pale.

      • I don’t blame you or anyone speaking out on adoption ethics. I don’t have an issue with it either.

        But I do have an issue with you mocking infertiles to make a point. Then again I wouldn’t expect someone with four kids to get that.

      • You mean the system that outcasts the childless and mocks the infertile to feel like less than that you contribute to. Maybe Karma will come back to you in the form of one of your daughters being infertile. But then again you probably would tell them it’s no big deal.

    • So if you’re infertile but clearly not adopting, I fail to understand how this is satirising or mocking you. You’re not part of the problem. Needy, grasping infertile people who would stop at nothing to covet another woman’s baby are part of the problem. I would hope you’re insightful enough to know the difference.

      • You’re right I’m your best case scenario infertile who lives a childless life isolated from our childfilled society. And as someone who has four kids who wouldn’t understand that you are part of the problem. Maybe if people like yourself wouldn’t mock, isolate and look down upon us there would be less of a demand in adoption. But you’re too wrapped up in your own world to see that.

      • Gregory, you have convinced yourself I am mocking those who cannot have children. I cannot help how you filter what you read. The truth is I love and respect a number of people who are infertile, whether they adopted or not. And that includes my own adopted parents. As for being “too wrapped up in your own world”…maybe you should consider that yourself, because nothing you have lobbed at me is true.

      • You have convinced me with your work that you mock infertiles. What you can do is stick to adoption ethics and leave infertility and those who suffer (though you probably don’t think we do) out of it. You lose people like myself when you go there. You have a powerful argument that can be lost at times. I actually do care about adoption ethics because one I don’t like to see anyone get hurt and second I don’t want to see infertiles be demonized the way some in the adoption community have (though I don’t dispute adoptive parents have done themselves no favors at times).

        And saying you love and respect infertile people is like a racist saying they have black friends.

      • You have convinced me by calling those who cannot have children “infertiles” that you have serious issues. That’s in addition to the fact that I have never and would never mock infertile people. That is in your own mind.

      • We are infertile. I am infertile. What’s wrong with that? It just means that I’m unable to have children. I’m not offended by it.

        What I am offended by is when someone implies that we are all baby kidnapping demons. Do you have any idea of how infertility changes a person/couple? The myth is that it’s no big deal and that it just means that can’t have a “wet womb” baby as you people like to say. The reality is it runs much deeper. It’s about our bodies failing us and being less than most people. It’s about our blood lines ending with us leaving no legacy behind after we pass.

        None of this has anything to do with Adoption ethics.

      • I do not define people by whether or not they can procreate and I can’t understand why you would want to.

        Although I doubt it’s possible for you at this point, try going back to the post and reading it again. Who am I talking to (in the manner of Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal” was a cookbook for children)? Is it those who cannot have children? No, it’s the people who *can*. Try to get a grip on this, please.

        I do know something about feeling “less than” having lived as the 2nd choice my entire life. I wish I had been my adoptive parents’ biological child.

        Taking your misdirected offense out on me doesn’t help. And everything I write about has to do with adoption ethics. I’m adopted. I always will be.

        And your penchant for saying “you people” simply shuts down the conversation.

      • I never said I was defined by being an infertile but it is a part of who I am. It is the reason I am not a parent. Just as you are probably (apologize if I’m wrong) not defined by being adopted but it’s a part of who you are. It’s the reason you have two sets of parents.

        I did read your post and know you are talking to people of childbearing years. But the tone of the post has a passive aggressive mocking way about it as if infertiles are charity cases who just need babies to fulfill them. It shows a complete lack of understanding of what infertility is. I don’t think it was your intention but the point could have been made without the snark.

        While you may know something about feeling less it’s not the same thing. You don’t know what it feels like to be unable to have kids in fact you have the opposite feeling. Just as I don’t know what it feels like to be adopted and the complexity that comes with it.

        I’m sorry for using the “you people” but there are many in your community who demonize people who are unable to have kids unless they take the path of remaining childless.

  2. “You people”. What a wonderful way to try to gain support for your view. I don’t even know if that means adoptees or people who are capable of having children. I reserve the right to mock anyone who tells me that his or her infertility gives them the right to someone else’s child. I will mock anyone who claims that god sent them an adopted child. I will mock anyone who claims their adopted child is a gift. I will mock anyone who complains about the high price of buying a womb fresh baby and tries to persuade others to help them with the cost. I don’t care whether someone is infertile or not. That isn’t relevant to the discussion. What is relevant is that there are people who think they deserve to have someone else’s child and see nothing wrong in taking them.
    If your bloodline ends, it ends, whether you adopt or not because we have our own bloodlines and no amount of falsified birth certificates can change that. I have no children. I never will have any children. When I die that’s the end of my little branch of my family tree. That is nothing to be worried about. It’s simply how evolution works.

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