In honor of National Adoption Day (also called Gimme A Baby Day) I would like to discuss the unfairness of everything. I’m talking to anyone in their childbearing years who is capable of creating a baby:
Why haven’t you? More specifically, why haven’t you made a baby for someone else?
All those empty cradles and empty arms! Couples desperate for an infant, holding fundraisers to pay the dubious legal fees, begging for “their” baby to come home. How can you let them suffer? How can you in good conscience keep your latest newborn (how many do you have: two? three? are you in competition with the Duggars?) knowing infertile couples are suffering? They want your baby! They need your baby! They deserve your baby!
They are obviously better than you. They have more money. They would love your child more. They would give your child more than you ever could. How can you be so selfish? Your child deserves a better life. You are standing in the way of others’ happiness with your talk about parental rights and biology. Adoption is a miracle! You could be part of that miracle!
It’s not fair. Everyone can have a baby except the ones who would make the best parents. (Hint: If you can procreate, you are in that lesser category.) Understand, breeders? It’s those who can’t who are automatically superior. You are lucky there are people better than you who are willing to parent your child. These better people never commit crimes, or have devastating illnesses or addictions, or divorce. That only happens to dirty, common people. Like you.
Oh, your child won’t know the difference. They just know they’re loved, right? That’s why it doesn’t matter when babies get switched in hospitals. Everyone goes home with a baby. It’s a win-win.
Biology is nothing. Skin color is nothing. It’s purely a coincidence that black babies cost half the price of white. And I’m sure if a nice, white couple adopted your black baby boy, that would protect him against the discrimination that all non-adopted black men face, because adoption is magic. Same goes for Asian girls. Don’t make people go overseas for their accessory offspring. Buy American.
If you really believe in adoption, you will help the cause. Give up your baby today.