photo from Musings of the Lame, by Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy

Life is unfair. You want to adopt, but it is costs so much. You wish for a perfect white newborn, fresh from the womb, with all trace of biological family annihilated so you can pretend you really are the only parents. But it might be trendy and savior-like to get one of those foreign almost-orphans. That’s expensive too! 

Don’t worry, though. Adoption is a miracle that can be bought.

The Real Cost of Adopting a Kid (Time Magazine)

Five Ways to Make Adoption Affordable (WiseBread)

Financing an Adoption (American Adoption)

Amazing how much it costs to separate a baby from its natural mother, while at the same time being the justification: “You can’t afford to keep this baby. Give it a better life.”

Money is the deciding factor. Ever noticed how the rich and famous don’t have to wait for “their” God-ordained child like regular people do? Any rule can be bypassed with enough clout/funding. (See: Madonna in Malawi.)(Twice.)

Pregnant women are courted and trolled, conditioned to embrace their fate as “birthmothers.” They are told they are brave, and making the loving choice. And they certainly are not told they will be paid for their baby. That would be immoral, not to mention illegal. Only her medical expenses are covered (not including therapy, of course). So where does the money go? To all those who stand to profit: agency workers, doctors, lawyers, social workers, court officials…anyone whose paycheck depends on adoptions being finalized.

Bonus! If your adoptling doesn’t work out, you can rehome it:

Reuters: The Child Exchange

And lest you fear the exposé has ruined that backup plan, never fear:

WIAA 2nd Chance Adoption

Second Chance Adoptions – Facebook

Yeah, when that “forever family” thing doesn’t work out to your satisfaction you’re not stuck with the kid like when they come from your loins. Adoption is the gift that keeps on regifting, like a tacky Christmas sweater. “As if born to” only counts when it works in your favor. And don’t worry, they don’t call it “rehoming”, so even though it’s exactly like rehoming in appearance and practice, it’s not. And it certainly won’t cause lifelong trauma in the orphan. More people to love, right?

But why stop there? Instead of making someone else’s trash your treasure, you could deliberately create a little person via donors and/or surrogacy, just like celebrities who simply don’t have the time to be pregnant themselves. Change your mind? No problem:

Sherri Shepherd Surrogacy Child Support Win

Surrogacy et al calls to mind how American slave owners amassed more slaves – they created them by raping the young black women they owned. Everyone turned a blind eye, and while the biracial offspring were just as much the children of the master’s as those of his legal (white) wife, they served another purpose altogether. It was considered an economical, common sense practice:

Children of Slaves

We are embarrassed by the slavery in our past. Yet we continue to buy and sell human beings by calling it adoption. If money cannot be taken out of the process, it will remain a corrupt system. I hope to one day think of adoption as an embarrassing time in our past, in a future where no one would consider buying a baby and calling it “another way to grow a family.”

Elle Cuardaigh is author of The Tangled Red Thread and contributor of The Adoptee Survival Guide